This a difficult story or experience to share with the world, mostly because our African society judges the girl child. We are supposed to act in a so called way which they name “the dignified way”, failure to do so you are judged and given different names. This has left many women vulnerable and afraid to tell their stories and this has given many men ammunition for their actions towards innocent women. These two women from Masvingo feel that they cannot be shoved into a wall of silence and in so doing, protecting a man who is out to destroy women unapologetically. Today we will tell our story, of two Zimbabwean ladies who met through a so called “public figure” as he termed himself and this is what matters to him, (how the world sees him and rub his ego) . This story is to tell the world a story about the real Blessing Ivan Vava. Blessing Vava claims to be an activists who stand for human rights, women rights and against oppression of human kind. As many may know Blessing is a second born in a family of four boys, who grew up in Mtapa, Gweru and his rural home is Shekwa in Chipinge Zimbabwe.
We are telling this story so that we can be our sisters’ keeper, we believe we are not his only victims and if we keep quiet this circle will grow. We believe so because Blessing highlighted to one of us that there is a lady who texted a lady named Gugu (his cde) asking for help to write a story about Blessing and how he uses women. Unfortunately the so called lady cde told Blessing all this information, we hope this lady will also reach out to us and share her experience. One of us decided to be anonymous. The first lady will be called June because that is the month she started dating Blessing, the second lady is named July for the same reason as well.
June started dating Blessing in June 2018, she was led to believe that Blessing was single, never married with no child. She only found about the child a few weeks back and our dear “public figure” claimed that it was his late sister’s child whom he adopted (the child’s name will not be mentioned in order to protect the child). June has been financially supporting Blessing since he always claims to be broke and not getting much salary from crisiszimbabwe.org and that it comes late. No one in Blessing’s circles thought of warning her of his marital status and character. Blessing had always used his background and his relationship with his father to act as a victim to June. He claims to have grown up in extreme poverty with an unsupportive father. This has been his excuse for the narcissistic behaviour towards her.
In July 2019, Blessing started to date July, because July knew a few people in his circle so Blessing opened up about his child and baby mama. He claimed they had separated with no hope of working out things and his main focus was his son. Blessing never told July he was dating someone else. He also used his childhood to cover for his narcissistic behaviour. He played a victim of his previous marriage where he claimed that the ex-wife was abusive and would tell him hurtful words, in his words “munhu anokupa chikafu negumbo, wonzi unonhuwa mumukanwa”. He claimed that his ex-wife was heartless and she broke up with him over a text. He stated that the separation/divorce was mainly because he was broke and struggling and the baby mama lost her respect for him as a human. It seems his strength on women (June and July) was to act as a victim of his past.
Blessing also complained about his salary delay and being broke to July who also helped him financially. He used to do video calls with his son to July. In the relationship with July, Blessing forced his way into not using protection against July’s will. Unfortunately July got pregnant and had a miscarriage, (she only learnt about the pregnancy during the miscarriage). Blessing accepted the miscarriage and did not doubt the pregnancy was his, sorry July during the pregnancy she developed ovarian cysts. Blessing never pitched on the medical bills and he claimed he was broke and he will reimburse but alas that is yet to happen. Emotionally during this period he was hardly available and physically he claimed to be tied up with work and was available here and there.
All hell broke loose when July asked for Blessing’s help on bills because July is due for an operation she was diagnosed with multiple cysts. This is when July’s family found out and culturally in the Shona culture, her family had to engage with his family, he blocked any attempt of her failing to do so and he claimed that he has communicated with his family not to engage with her family. He even blackmailed her to say he will only help with the bills if July’s family doesn’t engage with him and blamed July for never using morning after pills. In publishing this article July loses the chances of getting the so called medical help from Blessing.
In both the relationships Blessing was a narcissist boyfriend, where the meeting and everything was done on his terms. He blamed everything on his busy career, or that he grew up in the ghetto or because he was traumatised in jail when he was arrested by the ZRP for activism. If confronted about anything in both relationships he would go quiet for days, an attempt to break up with him he would appear the next day acting like nothing happened. On 25 March 2020, the two girls confronted Blessing about his two timing behaviour and he went violent on them, threatening to beat them up.
His behaviour comes shocking for an individual who says he stands for women’ rights and protects women. It seems like young single independent women are his prey. What he fails to fathom is these women are economic migrants from Zimbabwe who are here in South Africa to bring a change to their livelihoods and their lives. These women run away from the economic challenges and poverty in Zimbabwe only to be embraced by activists who claim to be fighting for their rights. One wonders, what is the difference between the government they say they are fighting against and them. How can one say they stand for women rights and fails to help his woman to get the right medication or expose them to sexually transmitted diseases. As we speak Blessing owes these women money, It seems that this women’s rights activist lives off from the support of his prey. To June and July’s knowledge Blessing is in the midst of trying to get his baby mama back. Both June and July are willing to talk further and get into details about his narcissistic behaviour during their relationship with him.